No Shame November has come and gone again

Somehow. I missed November. Between 50 hour work weeks, Friendsgiving, Thanksgiving and a road trip. I just didn't get around to this post. Also, it's been sitting in my drafts folder since November 10th. I really am ashamed of the following, which is why I think I held back on it for so long...
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No Shame November is Back! Last year, in it's inauguration,  I embarked on an adventure that brought me back to blogging and made life seem a little better.(you can check out the original No Shame November here. All the credit in the world to the amazingly talented Kathleen Leahy for developing this project last year.)

For starters, we'll talk about a new no-shame characteristic I've developed: being clean and organized.

So this November finds me in a totally different stage of life than my first try at NSN... I'm living in an apartment on Chicago's northwest side with two of my girlfriends instead of the dorms. Of course it's awesome, but it has dragged out of me a compulsive clean streak.

Seriously. I'm verging on Danny Tanner here (but really just in the Full House way, never in the weird Bob Saget stand up way.) I suddenly find my mood is better when things are cleaned and organized, and I just can't deal with mess and clutter like I used to. I know it doesn't sound like a problem, but when you live with two relatively 'normal' people, expecting things to be spic-n-span 24/7 just isn't going to happen.

My Friday night consisted of cleaning the kitchen for over an hour (it needed it...) and doing laundry. The fact that I admitted that here is shameful in and of it's self, but I digress. When I was done I couldn't help but feel better in every way. I felt accomplished, I felt downright happy.

I've taken to organizing almost every aspect of my life. Everything (seriously EVERYTHING) in my life has a designated place now. It's amazing. I feel like I'm in control of the details of my life and can have an insta-mood boost when I walk into my room with a made bed and a well organized desk. Things get done in my life.

WHO AM I? 

I remember telling my mom "the floor is one big shelf!" in high school. That mantra is unwelcome here... i don't want anything on the floor that isn't furniture.

But if i'm being honest about why this is shameful, then things get real. Monica from friends or, people like me, are always are kind of always pains in the asses. They're bossy and particular, not to mention controlling, in the all the wrong ways.

...and there before the grace of God goes I. Bossy and controlling, a kind of ugly proud monster rises and falls in me when I try to keep things perfectly in order. It gives too much room to judge others, to claim a 'right way' of being (that is not an assent to universalism ... most succinctly,  my foray into the world of tidiness has made me more of a jerk then ever.

so for NSN... I am ashamed and how sorry I am.
For how judgmental I am.
For how bossy I am.
For how much dust has already accumulated on the tops of the kitchen shelves.