"have you ever seen an idealist with gray hairs on his head?"

-Pedro the Lion

fresh outta the great white north and I guess I'm ready to embark on a post I've been nervous about...

sometimes. I'm ashamed to be an American. 

Please don't freak out. Please don't think I'm a communist. Please don't think I don't value "freedom". Please, please- don't think this is all i could say about this subject [i'm not trying to be weird and political, or naive and idealisitc. just real.]

Sometimes, like just after taking a peak at our near-by neighbor Canada, I realize that there's a big world out there; and I live in only a small part of it. It's kind of embarrassing to admit, but I think.... for a while there, I didn't realize there was so much more out in the world apart from the US. It was really easy to get wrapped up in the all consuming culture that is everything Amurican.


Before I go any further, I realize everyone gets to this point. It might not be with consumerism, but some other constant in your life... family, religion, culture, et al. We get so stuck in what we've been doing that we can't see what we are doing[to ourselves].  For me, it's this weird-o, American consumerist mentality that really has me beginning to examine what I'm doing.

This isn't the first time I've questioned materialism, and it won't be the last, but there was something about my Toronto visit that brought it all up again. There were smaller scale stores for everything. Stores that only sold one thing. Stores that only sold certain types of things. Stores that looked worlds away from Target and Walmart. Shopping seemed less of an event and more like something to check off your to-do list. I like that.  A little less oohing and aahing and the junk on the end cap at Target and more thinking of where to buy things closest to your house. This specialized shopping made consuming more a  task to accomplish than a form of entertainment.

Another little Canadian weirdity is that they don't really do credit cards like we do in the states. According to  my friend Julianne, wise sage that she is, they deal pretty much exclusively in prepaid debit cards and cash. You mean the society doesn't run on debt? That means you have to cash a pay check and buy things with real money? Weirdest thing ever [Canadian money is also  purple and holographic and totally ke$ha-tastic].

This might sound silly, but it felt a little like  Ecuador. The smaller shops, the personal vendors. It made me miss the developing world [what the crap does that mean?] and places that dealt only in cash. Maybe I'm misreading this one neighborhood of Toronto that I stayed in... but I can't help but thinking it was a bit simpler. It was a bit nicer. It wasn't so damn easy to get into debt.

So draw your own conclusions, but it's just what I've been thinking about lately. I don't know who sells me my groceries, and I don't have a clue where I'd buy craft supplies if I couldn't run to Michael's [ i wish i knew Michael personally.] Would I buy as much stuff if it wasn't offered? If the $10 purses weren't so accessible, and I had to buy a bag from a second hand store [baby girl is on a budget] or a clothing store that's a little more expensive; would I own over a dozen bags? [for shame]. Probably not. 

... & it's that that makes me ashamed.

I'm ashamed that stuff has taken over my life
I'm ashamed that i'm completely divorced from where my stuff comes from.
I'm ashamed that I'm so in awe of a place that pays for things out right.
I'm ashamed that even though I try to fight it, I am it.
I'm ashamed I was made in america.







[listen to Pedro the Lion's  song- Penetration]





No Shame November is the brainchild of the fabulous Kathleen Leahy [find her here].