stop now, wait a minute... lemme put some LB in it.

I'm ashamed at how impatient I am. Seriously, it's sick.

I can't wait for anything. Not in line, not in traffic, dear God not for the internet to connect and most of all... when it involves the waiting game.

Yes, you've played it. The game. When you like someone and they like you back and there's flirting, and eye lash fluttering, all that garbage... and texting [love/hate relationship].

I carry a lot of shame about being unable to hide my feelings and being completely unable to wait for anything. Most notably with guys. Shout out to the poor souls who have dated me [what were you thinking!?] but it seems that when I'm into someone I fall faster than your grandma after a glass of wine.

and that's embarrassing.

I have no game, zero skill and a serious thing for guys that aren't into me. Apparently, normal people text back and forth and play foots-y with each other... months later they go on a date and somewhere in the distant future they decide to own up to the crap everyone else has been observing for six months. Come on people. That means I'm going months without the validation of this being official [no weird-o, not facebook official]. That means I can't just call you to talk, hang out with you in my sweat pants, or ask you to run errands with me. In short, during those initial months I still have to impress you. That means doing my hair, wearing my contacts and laughing at your jokes on  regular basis. [seriously too much pressure, but I usually dig funny guys.]

No Shame November gets personal once again, I'm not the least bit ashamed that I think I'm awesome [you're awesome too, go figure out why], but I won't be caught dead asking a guy out. ever. So because I am SO IMPATIENT. I always ruin it. I drop too many not-so [not even close] subtle hints and then it's out the window- homeboy things I'm crazy and obsessed. Crap. I promise I'm normal...


Don't get me wrong. I'm not advocating that everyone jumps into a relationship after a week of getting to know someone... BUT. I am advocating that people take a risk, dare to say that you like him and see what happens. A few dates isn't a marriage proposal [it's usually only dinner] gentlemen, so just try it. Suffice it to say, cut the cutesy social networking, texting, obsessing-over-every-word-weirdness, and be real with each other. 

the fact remains, I'm ashamed.

I'm ashamed that I have the patience of first grader in line for the bathroom.

I'm ashamed that I sometimes spoil a good thing by playing my cards too soon.

I'm ashamed that I'm socially inept [seriously how do i have friends?]

I'm ashamed that I wear my heart on my sleeve and cannot keep things to myself. I will perpetually be a 16 year old girl.


...I'll tell you what. I'm not ashamed that I'm honest, I'm up front, and you'll always know where you stand with me. I'm not complicated. I'm not into the games, I want people to be real with me and themselves.... yes, and ask me on a date. : )










No Shame November is the brainchild of the fabulous Kathleen Leahy [find her here].