former socially informed, cool gal. current iPhone owner.

i Mashamed

Wow.

So this is actually pretty embarrassing. I’m writing this from my new iphone. 

You heard that right… new iphone.

If you’ve know me for more than a hot second you realize that that last sentence was COMPLETELY LAUGHABLE. But its true... I got an iphone. Oh my gosh, this is so embarrassing.

I love to rail against big business, the empire, anything endorsed by the ‘in crowd.’ What got into me?! I broke down and I blame my mother...

It started innocently enough. The cell plan my mom and I share was due for phone upgrades, again, I stress the innocence… She had hinted at an iPhone, but I thought surely she’d scoff at the price. Well, obviously I’m a dumbass- because they were the same price or cheaper than most of the other smart phones. Eff. At that point, I knew I was doomed.

We ‘ooed’ and ‘aahhed’ at the phones long enough, all the the while my inner non conformist and staunch anti materialist was having an interal, moral struggle. Upon telling my mother about said battle she replied, “now, most kids would just be so excited their mom is buying them an iphone…” [so much is wrong grammatically and idealogically here, but I should start a Sh*tMyMomSays twitter, right?]

Long story short we bough the iPhone. Just the 4 and only 8g, both white. Complete with ridiculous, pink [white girl problems- esque] cases. This is all true, please direct all questions to Mike, employee of the Orland Park Verizon Store.

Why is the iPhone so shameful for me?

I’m ashamed that I’m a sell out. I’ve gone so far as to debate the merits of the internet, only to carry it in my pocket at all times!? I’ve also gone on record calling it “satan’s phone"

I’m ashamed that it seemed like no big deal to drop $100 on a phone

I’m ashamed at how connected this world demands I be.

I’m ashamed that I agree to, and I have jumped on, the “over- connected bus” with suprising zeal.

I’m really ashamed of that damn case.

Totally makes it worse.

No Shame November is the brainchild of the fabulous Kathleen Leahy [find her here].